Fun tidbits with Sarah commentary. Enjoy.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been gaining tidbits about what's to come.  A small glimpse into PCV life. I've picked out a few random and odd things to write about based on what current Moz PCVs have said. This is going to be a fun and sassy post, so enjoy.

“There is a huge lack of trashy reality TV over here.”

Oh gosh. I may not survive. Screw running water, reliable electricity, JIF, and wifi. I can deal with that (maybe?). Without ANTM, The Bachelor, Keeping up with the K’s, or Say Yes to the Dress. I. Don’t. Know. If. I’ll. Make. It.

Now…how to substitute? Books? Like reading? Who does that? (Okay actually I do, but that’s beside the point). Nothing beats sitting down to watch too-skinny girls ugly cry about #firstworldproblems after a long day’s work changing the world. Am I right?

Recently I’ve been getting together on a weekly basis with my friends Rachel and Lauren to watch The Bachelor in Paradise. We (okay fine they) bring fancy snacks and we drink sparkling water and care way too much about fake love. And it is awesome. I knew I was definitely going to miss Lauren and Rachel, but it just recently dawned on me that I will seriously miss the trash too. Shucks!

“The floss Peace Corps gives us kind of sucks.”

After years of hearing dentists say, “flossing is really important”…”you need to start flossing like right away”…”make flossing a habit”…”flossing is necessary for healthy gums”…etc., I finally obliged. For the past 6 months I’m proud to say I’ve flossed basically every day. And I soon learned that not all dental floss is created equal. Let me be clearer: every type of dental floss sucks and hurts and makes my teeth bleed except for Oral B. I was already planning on bringing a two year supply of tampons, and now it looks like I’ll be bringing a two-year supply of Oral B Dental Floss as well.

I should be impressed that Peace Corps even gives us dental floss at all, but instead I'm pissed that it's the shitty make-your-gums-bleed kind. Damnit.

“They do sell rope here, but it’s probably not the best for jumping”.

So, here’s what I gather from that statement: Rope is needed there by people enough that they sell it. But people use it for reasons other than exercise. The only other needs for rope I have witnessed in my recent life are:

Climbing up mountains (I don’t do it but some of my friends that are cooler than I am do).

Securing the trunk of a car because furniture is sticking out the back of it. (Shout out to the Craigslist shoppers who took all of my furniture off my hands!)

Tying a hammock to a tree. And sleeping in it. Because sometimes people with money like to pretend they don’t have money so they go camping and it’s “fun”.

A rope swing found alongside some river in Austin, TX. A high school aged boy found it and was swinging on it and flinging himself in the water. He was wearing jeans and seemed quite reckless.

So, of the four uses of rope I just listed, I can’t imagine that any of them are reasons for selling rope in Mozambique. So then, what is it used for? I want to know, but I can’t until I get there so I’m letting my imagination run wild.

Hopefully people create intricate pulley systems on the regular in order to move important things to high places. I would be down with that.

Oh. And while I'm on the topic: Double Dutch. I’m going to make that a thing, guaranteed.

“You do NOT want to be stuck on a chapa in the middle of nowhere with diarrhea.”

Excuse me? What is a chapa? Why would I be stuck there? And in the case that this unfortunate circumstance does happen, WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

The hilariously unfortunate thing about this statement is that it hits close to home. My advice on this subject to somebody else would read: “You do NOT want to be almost climbing onto an elephant and realize a bowel explosion is in your near future”. Yup that’s a thing that happened to me in real life. Luckily I found a makeshift bathroom and nothing embarrassing happened...that time. Based on other PCV comments about Imodium, etc. I think this will continue to be a concern while in Africa.

Social scrutiny by bubble guts isn’t ideal. But it appears that the threat will be real.

In response to "How easily accessible is peanut butter"? (That was literally the first question I posted):

"Some PCVs make their own".

They also said that jars of it are available in some cities, which is promising--I won't starve. But making your own peanut butter...hmmm...when I read that I immediately thought about the type of person that would make their own peanut butter here in the states; in my mind, here's what that looks like:

Doesn't own a car. Bikes everywhere.

Makes their own clothes. Some people think they are trying too hard to look like they aren't trying, but actually they just really aren't trying.

Perhaps dread locks....Okay fine, for sure dread locks.

Hiking sandals. The type that every.single.person in Colorado wears but it looks funny in Dallas.

They make their own hummus, too. Duh.

Scoffs at any music on the radio. "Pop" music is repulsive.

Practices yoga, but on their own, not in a trendy class taken over by matchy-matchy Lululemon gear.

So, I'm not this person. And I don't think every PVC is or will turn into this person. But what happens if I come back in two years--after making my own peanut butter in order to not completely starve--and I am like this? There is true potential for this and I can get totally get on board.

Minus the sewing part. No way. And I will always love the Backstreet Boys #forever.

In response to whether or not there are opportunities to buy clothes in Mozambique:

“No underwear!!!!!”

Okay then. I appreciate the straight to the point answer. Now I know to pack a gazillion pairs of underwear and prepare my mother to send me a gazillion more over the next couple of years. Aerie size M undies with no animals on the butt or crotch because honestly who buys those? (If you do I’m totally judging and probably stop doing that because you’re a woman and women should wear sexy underwear not cartoon underwear thanks bye).

But let’s think about this for a second: You cannot buy underwear in Mozambique. Like a person can’t. So what do people do there? Not wear underwear? I mean, ok. Maybe if I wasn’t raised being taught the importance of underwear, I’d be cool with it. But that’s just not true. And now I’m just hoping that I unthink this fact. Mozambicans don’t wear underwear. Like, I could be making a false inference based on that question/answer and I really hope that I am. But what if I’m not…

Every person I meet I’m going to be like “is that person free-balling? But seriously. Are they?”…”Sarah, don’t do additional research with your eyes to find out. That’s awkward.”

…

“…I’m pretty sure that person isn’t wearing underwear. Now I’m uncomfortable”.

-OR-

“Hey, I think that person is wearing underwear! WOOHOO!” but then what happens if I just blurt out “WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE UNDERWEAR IF YOU CAN’T BUY THEM HERE!?” and then that person’s all like…uhhh we were just talking about my personal garden and the great sweet potato that I grew why are you a weirdo?

Right. Sweet Potatoes.

Pretty much, life is going to be different in a way that brings out how hilariously awkward I am. Mozambique here I come. *thumbs up*