Two Sides of the Same Coin

We are in the third trimester of the school year, and the LAST trimester of my service. Being at this point, and starting to think about life after Peace Corps has me realize that there are a lot of things about USA life that I look forward to getting back to, and a lot of aspects of my Moz life that I’m really going to miss. Through reflection, I've realized that many of the things I'm “definitely not going to miss about Moz” and the “very much going to miss about Moz” things are two sides of the same coin. I have a love/hate relationship with this whole experience (mostly love, but some days hate), and here is some proof of that.

A thing that I’m not going to miss:

Being Pedir’d 

The verb Pedir in Portuguese means “to ask for”. People use it here all the time in the form “Estou a pedir” which means “I am asking for”. People will ask for money. For food. For help carrying something. People will ask for permission to enter my yard, or ask for the rain jacket that I’m wearing while it’s pouring down rain. They’ll ask for my shoes, the bunch of bananas I just bought, or the phone that I’m currently using to text my mother. And when I politely negar (decline), they will usually say in a more whiney voice, “but I am askinnnggggg….”. At which point I say no, this time with more firmness. As you can imagine, this is extremely annoying, and I’m not going to miss it one bit. In the States, when you walk down the street or through a parking lot, maybe you make eye contact, and a really bold move is to say hello to a complete stranger. Here, not only is saying hello normal, asking for clothes right off your back is just as normal and happens more often than not. I know now that people ask me for things not truly expecting me to give them, and not just because I’m the white girl in town. They ask each other for things all the time; it’s an ingrained part of the culture here. It’s a part of the culture I respect and accept, but one that I’m not going to miss.

The kids in Andy's neighborhood ask him to play with the basketball multiple times every single day. 

"Estou a Pedir a bola"..."I'm asking for the ball"

A thing that I am going to miss:

Pedir’ing.

The asking thing goes both ways. While it took a while for me to become used to all the asking, it took even longer for me to be okay with asking things from other people. I don’t do it very often; however, when I do ask others for things, it’s nice to know that I won’t offend anybody or seem greedy or awkward. Some nights, if I don’t feel like cooking, I’ll ask Mana Marta to send over some dinner for me. Other times, if there’s no good fruit in the market, I’ll ask Mama Amélia for something from the garden (papaya is my favorite). I can also collect well water from the neighbors, or borrow their tool for shaving coconut meat without blinking an eye. Not only do they not hesitate to give me what I ask for, they also give the thing without any strings attached. They don’t keep a tally of what they do for me, or eventually ask me for that same amount back. Pedir’ing is part of the friendship; we give and take with grace, having faith that neither side will take advantage. I’m going to miss that freedom and am thankful that this culture is one revolved around giving. 

A thing that I’m not going to miss:

Mozambican texting shorthand.

When I communicate by phone with my Moz friends and family, I opt for SMS, because it’s hard for me to understand Portuguese with crappy service and without being able to watch facial expressions. However, reading a text message from a Mozambican is nearly impossible without reading it out loud multiple times. Here’s an example:

From Stela: “bda dexculp peco pra xegr as 13 tinha ido a xai xai comprar agulhas da mx xtou pra ultmar pasta mas uresto j xta.”

In properly written Portuguese that would say, “Bom dia. Desculpa, Peço para chegar as 13 porque tinha ido a Xai Xai para comprar argulhas da maquina. Estou para ultimar pasta mas o resto já está.”

It means, “Good morning. I ask that you come at 1pm because I have gone to Xai Xai to buy needles for the sewing machine. I am finishing one bag, but the rest are already all done.”

DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE. Stela’s message has few words and many abbreviations and I have to read it out loud phonetically to understand what she’s trying to tell me. Every communication is a puzzle.

A thing that I’m going to miss:

Feeling as smart as a scientist every time I decipher a Mozambican text message.

After three or four times reading a text message out loud as if I’m learning to read for the first time, I eventually understand what the person is trying to tell me. And it is the best ever. A moment of “oooooohhhhh I get it!!!!” happens. And I smile. And proceed by responding in formal, full-worded Portuguese. Sometimes in life, it’s the little things. 

A thing that I'm not going to miss:

Traveling to the beach.

 I've written about this before, and it's still true: traveling around Moz sucks. You either have to hitch hike (which could mean standing on the side of the road for hours), or take a chapa (lots of people stuffed in a tiny van together for hours). Usually you get not-your-own sweat on you, and the trip takes double the amount of time it should because of all the stopping and going. Getting to the nearest beach takes me at either one 1.5 hour chapa and another 30 minute chapa, or a 1.5 hour (up to 3 hours depending on the day) chapa, at least 15 minutes of hitch hiking, and another 20 minute ride. Either way is not ideal. But it's the beach so, like...worth it!It's rough and I'm SO looking forward to public transportation and/or having my own car. 

Looks super fun, right?

Thing that I'm going to miss:

Mozambique's beautiful beaches.

You really can't beat them. Bilene, Tofo and Vilankulo are three really wonderful beach towns near me. They each have their own personally, beautiful views, consistently good food, and affordable lodging. Andy and I go here when we need a break from the chaos that is school, or the unbearable summer heat. It's a beautiful escape, and I'm certainly going to miss being after to take a weekend trip to some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever been to. 

Bilene at Sunset

Tofo at sunrise

Thing that I’m not going to miss:

My students being assholes.

Even after two years, my students get the biggest kick out of me making a simple language error in Portuguese. For example, saying “a problema” instead of correctly “o problema” gets giggles and snickers. Being laughed at by 50 kids never feels good, even if you didn’t mess up that badly. Also when my students tell me they understand something and then all fail their homework assignment on said understood topic. Or when a homework assignment is due when I enter the room at 7am but at 7:10 most kids are still trying to solve the problems in a panic to hand in. Or when I call on a girl to answer a question and some boys yell “call on me! she doesn’t know anything!”.

Class Rules:

1. If you can understand what I’m trying to say, I’m speaking well. Just leave it at that. 
1. a. Laugh at me twice and I'll teach this whole lesson in English and you will all FAIL!
2. If you have a question, ask it.
3. Do your homework at home the night before.
4. Be nice to each other.

Four rules. Simple, right?  Eh…debatable.

Thing that I’m going to miss:

My students being awesome.

Just as much as they frustrate me, my students also surprise me and make me smile big. Like when one girl got a 17/20 on the (very challenging) provincial exam without cheating. Or when another student wrote a poem IN ENGLISH about how much he loves math. Or when a girl tells me that my way of teaching works for her better than her previous Mozambican math teachers. Or when students ask me for extra practice problems, or show up at my house during their free time to get help. When they call me pretty even when I forgot to brush my hair that morning. When they tell me they’re sure I’m going to win the Victoria Falls Half Marathon because I’m the best runner they know. When they pose for pictures like wannabe thugs in school uniforms. When I make a dumb joke and they laugh at it. When they volunteer to do a problem on the board and get it right without any help. Or how about the fact that a very pregnant 12th grader is determined to finish the trimester, and therefore her education. When the boys want to prove to me that they take my sex-ed talks to heart and wave condoms around in the air yelling “we use condoms!!”. And finally, when they see me around town, in my normal clothes and their normal clothes, and their smiles demonstrate that they are truly happy to see me. 

They are good kids at heart, even if the Mozambican education system doesn’t always bring out the best in them. I’m really going to miss them…even the mischievous boys and the overly cutesy girls. 

Titos, the boy directly to my left, wrote the poem about math. He's also the chefe (boss) of all the students in 11th and 12th grade. I have faith that he will go places much further than Manjacaze.

So, I leave this country in 83 days, and the feeling is definitely bittersweet. Whether it’s an aspect I will or will not miss, it’s part of the culture here, and therefore part of my experience. These situations and cultural norms have helped me grow in ways that I couldn’t have imagined two years ago. I’m grateful for the won’t-misses and will-misses and everything in between.